Tempting toddler tastebuds

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By: Suzanne Dixon

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Article Summary

Toddlers are notoriously fussy eaters. Starting at the 1-year mark, even previously voracious eaters suddenly seem to lose interest. As they get older, toddlers develop strong opinions about what is on their plate (and where it is on their plate). Because feeding is at the heart of nurturing, a toddler's rejection of our carefully prepared food can be distressing. At such times, it's important to see the big picture. You're teaching him healthy eating so he can take care of himself over a lifetime. Seeing things from his perspective will help you in this task.

This fussiness is normal behaviour for toddlers. He's trying to establish his independence and let you know that he wants to take charge of himself. He's also settling into a growth pattern that will lead him towards his genetic body type. The roly-poly baby of slim parents will begin to look more like the rest of the family in the course of these years.

Here's what you can expect at the table during these fussy-eating years, and how to deal with it.

 1 Year

 18 Months

 2 Years

 3 Years

1 Year

At his first birthday, your child is probably more fascinated with learning to walk than with eating. As such, his interest in food plummets - he's just too busy to spend any time eating. But this is normal; your child grows more slowly in the second year, and his appetite will decrease appropriately. The extra fat he stored in the first year will help fuel this exciting movement, but large meals will not.

Even so, toddlers this age need energy to keep going. A 1-year-old can become tired quickly and may get frantic or irritable. It's best for him to have five or six small meals throughout the day, including two or three healthy snacks. Give him food in very small portions, adding more if he finishes it. A lot of food overwhelms a toddler and just invites him to push it away.

No Time to Eat Because it's so hard to pin him down, every bite counts for a busy toddler. Empty calories in biscuits, sweets or juice are a waste of their time and appetite. Click here for tips on healthy snacks for toddlers. If you or your GP or health visitor think he needs to consume more calories, you'll need to look at increasing the nutritional value of every bite rather than increasing the amount he eats.

Offer your toddler nutritious food at your regular mealtimes as well, but don't force him to eat. Young children who are allowed to decide for themselves when to stop eating grow up to have much healthier eating habits. Your job is to make sure healthy, appealing foods are offered regularly and in the same eating place. He's in charge of whether or not to eat.

Getting him to sit down with you at regular mealtimes - no matter how little he eats - will eventually teach him to eat when meals are served. Toddlers love to eat at the table with the family, and it's the perfect opportunity for them to learn about socialising and table manners. If your child resists or throws food, he's letting you know he's finished. Put him down, give him a book to look at, but don't coax him to eat more food. It sets up a battle that you can never win.

The Big Mess Your toddler learns a lot from "playing" with his food. Dropping food on the floor, squeezing it and smearing it are all ways he learns about food and how to enjoy eating it. He probably can't use a spoon very well, but he should have one anyway, for practice. Toddlers want to feed themselves and you should encourage it by letting them, no matter how messy they are. Your little one is probably also learning how to use a cup - again, this means a lot of spills. Your best option is to learn to live with the mess by using - and wearing - easy-to-clean materials.

Meal Tip If your toddler decides he will eat only pasta bows, for example, talk to your health visitor or GP about whether you should give him a baby vitamin. In general, children don't need extra vitamins, but if your child is really putting up a fight about food, it may help you feel better. Don't give him adult vitamins - they can be toxic to children.

No Meals on the Go Setting up good eating habits means eating in a regular eating place, such as in a high chair, in the kitchen. It does not mean in front of the TV, in the bedroom or walking around the house. Toddlers who walk and eat are at risk of choking.

18 Months

Your child needs less food now than he did during his first year. Surprised? Don't be. He's just not growing quite as fast, and so many other exciting developments are competing for his time.

Children this age are very fussy about what they'll eat. Don't force-feed your toddler or insist on a clean plate before he leaves the table. He knows how much he needs and will eat appropriately if not pressured. Forcing him will only result in a food battle - one you won't win! It can also lead to eating problems when he's older.

Binges and Refusals Your child can eat many of the same dishes the whole family eats. Just take out his serving before you add salt and strong spices. Not that he will necessarily agree to eat what you're eating. Toddlers this age tend to fixate on one beloved food and eat only that for days. These "binges" are normal, however, so don't worry. If what he's eating is nutritious, it doesn't matter how often he eats it. Offer him a variety of foods anyway, a little at a time, to get him used to the sight and texture of new foods. Generally, you have to offer a food about 10 times before a child this age will accept it, so don't be upset or daunted by the first or second refusal.

• Try not to use food as a reward. If your child starts to eat to please you, he isn't eating for the right reasons.
• Don't bribe a child to eat. It sets up a silly game that escalates to unreasonable levels. And it does not lead to good, self-directed healthy eating. Studies show that the child will eat less, not more, if this is how you interact.

Make sure you give him plenty of opportunities to feed himself - he's ready to practise using a spoon and a cup. Avoid foods he could choke on, however, such as whole grapes, nuts or raw carrots.

Fluid Facts How much should he drink? In general, your child shouldn't need any more than 180 ml (6 ounces) of juice each day and all of that should be from a cup. Juice is mostly just sugar and water, and fruit is better for him. Juice addicts have poor growth patterns and are at risk from "toddler diarrhoea and nutritional imbalance. Fruit juices can also increase the risk of tooth decay, due to their acidity level. Therefore, it is best to limit fruit juices to mealtimes, and drink water and milk between meals.

Your toddler doesn't need any more than 720 ml (24 ounces) of milk, either. Make sure he drinks whole milk, not reduced-fat milk. He needs those fatty acids for growth and brain development.

If he's still sucking on a bottle, you should start trying to wean him off now. A training cup is a good alternative to a normal cup if you can't stand the constant spills. Don't let your child take his bottle to bed, either. It's not good for his sleep or his nutrition and could rot his teeth.

Meal Tip Learn to love a mess! Your 18-month-old needs to try feeding himself to boost his emerging sense of independence, as well as learn how to use utensils and cups. A big bib will help protect his clothes from the worst of it, and you could even put a plastic mat under his high chair. Otherwise, get used to messy mealtimes. And don't forget to change out of your nice clothes when it's feeding time.

At the same time, don't tolerate airborne food. If your toddler starts to throw food around and has stopped eating, it means he's finished. Put him down and don't try to coax more food into him.

2 Years

Your 2-year-old is still a fussy eater, but he's watching you like a hawk so he can be just like you. Providing him with nutritious foods and eating well yourself are two of the best ways to get him to eat properly. Be aware, though, that he's picking up your bad habits as well as your good ones.

He's growing much more slowly than last year, so he really doesn't need as much food as you might think he does. He's also extremely opinionated about what he'll eat (and where he'll eat it and when he'll eat it, as well as in what bowl he'll eat it). He may continue to "binge" on favourite foods for a while, only to suddenly reject them later.

Pick Your Battles If you give in to these fussy habits quietly, your child won't fight as hard. Insisting on your way will only make the battle that much more important to him. You can't win. Just make sure the foods you give him are nutritious and it won't matter if he eats them every night for a while. Don't ask him what he wants to eat - that choice gives too much power for a very small person to handle. It is up to you to make the selection from reasonable, child-friendly foods.

Make sure your toddler eats at the table. People who eat at a set time and place usually get the best nutrition and are in the best physical shape. Establish this good habit early. Keep meals out of the car or bed and away from the TV. If your child won't drink much milk, give him calcium in the form of cheese or yoghurt. He should be weaned off the bottle entirely now.

Food Fight! If your 2-year-old refuses to eat anything you put in front of him, you've got yourself into a feeding war that you can't win through confrontation. Try these methods:

• Remove him from the table and try again in a couple of hours, at the next regular mealtime.
• Start with a nutritious snack, such as cheese and crackers or fruit. Put it on a tray and join him. But don't stare at him and wait for him to eat.
• Do not allow snacking between mealtimes - your child needs to be hungry to eat!
• If he still refuses, put him down again and stop worrying. No healthy child, even a 2-year-old, has ever starved himself. He'll be ready to eat at the next regular mealtime.

Also, ask the nursery staff/childminder when and what your child is eating during the day. If his diet isn't ideal, discuss the matter with the nursery staff/childminder. If they can't supply what you want your child to eat, offer to send a packed lunch for your child. But don't be too fussy; children learn from different care environments and there is a lot of leeway in children's diets. If possible, drop in for lunch with your toddler from time to time.

3 Years

Although your 3-year-old still has very definite ideas about what he wants to eat, he's more willing to try new foods than he was last year. He'll probably like certain foods because of their colours or shapes, and he may still insist on food being arranged "just so". He'll also enjoy helping out in the kitchen, as long as you're patient with his limited assistant skills.

The reluctant eater of this age may accept foods that are presented in a new or interesting way, on a special dish or in an unexpected shape. So, it's time to be clever and have fun together.

Three-year-olds learn so much about eating and socialising at the dinner table with their families. Studies show that children who eat at least one meal a day with their families have better vocabularies. Get him in the habit now of sitting at the table with you and not in front of the TV. Turn off the TV during mealtimes and talk as a family instead. Have meals at regular times, at a regular place, such as the kitchen or dining-room table.

Your 3-year-old is really ready to learn table manners. Teach him to say "please", "thank you", and "may I". He should spill just a little, and not throw at all. He can and should help set the table. He's likely to enjoy the habits and rituals of family meals.

That is, if you can get him to the table at all. Pre-school children are often so busy playing that they can hardly be bothered to stop. Don't let him get into the habit of eating on the go, however. Easy-to-eat, easy-to-carry foods are often high in salt, fat and sugar. And don't ask him to decide what's for dinner. It gives him too much power and you'll be turned into a fast-food cook. Your job is to decide what's for dinner; his job is to eat it. Don't set yourself up for long-term haggling with a 3-year-old.

Here are a few important things to remember about feeding your 3-year-old:

• Constipation can be a problem at this age. It's usually caused by eating too many dairy products and not having enough fruit, vegetables and water. If your child is having painful, hard stools or doesn't have a bowel movement for a day or two, change his diet straight away. If the problem is not solved in a day or two, call your doctor for advice. Your toddler may become reluctant to use the toilet if this goes on too long.
• Take steps to wean your child off his bottle, if you haven't already. Drinking from a bottle at this age could hurt his teeth or cause him to drink too much milk or juice, which can make it difficult for him to learn proper eating habits at home and at school.
• Don't use food as a reward or bribe for good behaviour. Studies show that this pattern leads to short-term decreases in eating and long-term battles. Use fun stickers instead - children this age love them.
• It's still a good idea to avoid small, hard foods such as hard sweets, chewing gum and peanuts. These foods could lodge in your child's windpipe and choke him.
• Television and meals don't mix. Your 3-year-old will develop bad eating habits and miss out on the social activity of family interaction. And he'll start being influenced by adverts showing foods that may not be the best choices for him.
• Keep bread, crackers or a bowl of pasta available at each meal so your child can make a choice between these, if all else fails.
• Eat at regular times and at a regular place as a family.

Meal Tips Make mini-pizzas with your 3-year-old! You can pack a lot of nutritious vegetables and meats (even leftovers) under melted cheese. Use an English muffin or half a bread roll, well-chopped or puréed vegetables, chopped up chicken, or even a finely chopped hard-boiled egg. A sauce such as tomato ketchup will make them stick and the cheese will glue it all together. Your child will love this pizza even more if he helps to make it.

Use biscuit cutters to make differently shaped sandwiches! Great fillings include cream cheese, jam and finely chopped tuna, meat or eggs. Allowing your 3-year-old to cut out his own shape will make it more fun for him.

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