I'm terrified of cot death, but my 4-month-old will only sleep on his tummy...

About a month ago, my cousin's 5-month-old baby died of cot death (SIDS). I have a 4-month-old son, so this scared me incredibly! I had been aware of SIDS, but now that I know someone who has experienced the horrible loss, I can't seem to push away the constant fears I have. The reason this bothers me so much is that my son absolutely refuses to sleep on his back. Until he was a month old, he slept on his back. Then after a few unbearable nights, I realised he was content only on his tummy. Since the other baby's death, I find myself constantly waking up and checking on him. I even tried to put him on his back to sleep the other night and he cried for an hour. As soon as I put him on his tummy, he fell straight to sleep. I'm so scared and don't know what to do.

The downside of our increased awareness of SIDS and how to reduce it in the whole population is really laid out in your letter. My condolences to your cousin and to you for what you're going through. Maybe some facts will help reassure you: * The greatest incidence of SIDS is in the first three months of life. Your cousin's child was a little unusual, as that baby was beyond the typical age. When children roll over on their own at night, this signals that they are beyond the main worry time. * Other factors also influence risk: if your baby was born on or near the due date, if no one in the house smokes, if you are breastfeeding or did, if you don't overheat the house or overdress the baby at night, and if your baby has firm bedding, then you've done a lot to further reduce the risk of SIDS. If these points don't provide enough reassurance, try keeping the baby in bed with you until he is older. He will object when you move him out later on, but that situation may be easier to deal with than the anxiety you seem to be going through now. You could consider short-term counselling to help you get over some of your worry.